SECTION 1

A LIFE GOD LEADS

MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY

One day, as I was telling my daughter about an event which took place in my life some years before, she remarked that she would like me to write down the things which took place in my life. Then she could have a record of all the stories I refer to in my conversations. I believe I am to write such an account for my children, but also for anyone else who might find it encouraging and helpful. So I am sitting at the computer with the prayer in my heart that the Lord will guide me in writing that which will glorify Him and show His mighty works in my life.

My life journey began when I was born on March 8, 1936, into a Christian family which already had three children and had lost another child from pneumonia in 1931. Soon after I came, another daughter came along, so I had little time to be the center of attention. Five years later another brother came along making a total of six children - three boys and three girls. I do not remember any time in my childhood when I was not surrounded with many family members. I liked living in a big family!

My family lived in three places by the time I became five years old. I was born in Bluffton, Indiana, then we moved to Ft. Wayne, Indiana, where we lived in two different locations. We started attending West Creighton Avenue Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, and this had a great positive effect on my life. It was just down the street from one of our homes, so we walked there on Sundays. From that time on we continued to attend that same church. I was baptized in that church, married in that church, and my parents attended there until they died. That is most unusual in our transient society! I know the stability of my early life and of my parents’ lives had a good effect on me and I have a deep appreciation for that.

For as long as I remember my parents took me to church and Sunday School and lived out the Christian faith as an example for me. As a child they taught me to tell the truth, to tithe any allowance I got, and to treat others with fairness and kindness. For that I am very grateful!

When I was about five years old my parents bought a home in the country near New Haven, Indiana, where they could raise their children, have a garden, and live the country life in which each of them had grown up. They carefully looked at the school system which we would attend because education was very important to them. My father had graduated from Engineering School at Tri State College in Angola, Indiana, and had his own successful business with refrigeration service. Except for one short interval of time, I remember my father as owning his own business and being very independent. I know this influenced me greatly and I’ve often wanted to be my own boss and run my own business.

My mother took one year of teacher training at Tri State College (where she met my father), then taught one year of public school before marrying. When I was in junior high school she began substitute teaching and returned to college to complete three more years of education to receive her Bachelors Degree in Education. After that she completed her Masters Degree in Education and graduated on her 50th birthday. I always admired her strength and courage in completing both those degrees while caring for a home and large family at the same time.

Life in the country in the 1940’s and 1950’s was quiet, peaceful, and work! I remember we worked hard to grow most of our own food, including vegetables, fruits of many kinds, chickens, and even rabbits and goats for a short while. I now treasure those years of peace and quiet. We had no TV, no stereo, no computer, no videos, a little radio on occasion, and we saw very few movies. So my life was not filled with entertainment from the outside. There was much time for thinking and reflection. Having a quiet introverted personality, I pondered much the searching questions of life. During those years I started developing a relationship with God.

I cannot remember missing a single Sunday at church except for rare occasions. Church and God were just part of my life. I had no idea it wasn’t part of everyone’s life. I was taught about Jesus--that He was the Son of God, that He gave His life on the cross to pay for our sins, that He died on Good Friday, and was raised to new life on Easter Sunday. During all my childhood years we celebrated Easter Sunday as the day Jesus was resurrected from the dead. At our church we took communion every Sunday and remembered what Jesus had done for us.

At the age of ten I was asked if I wanted to make a public declaration of my belief and faith in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior in front of the church on Palm Sunday, and I said yes to that. I went in front of the church congregation that Palm Sunday and declared that I believed that Jesus Christ was the Son of the living God and that I wanted to take Him as my Lord and Savior. And then I was baptized by immersion at an Easter sunrise service the following Sunday. Thus began my "Spiritual Journey" (see appendix B) as one belonging to Christ. Later, as an adult, I asked the Lord in prayer time one day if that was a real and genuine experience as a child, and He impressed on my mind that the childhood experience was genuine as I had acted on the "light" or understanding I had at that time, even though I grew to know Him much better later as an adult.

During my childhood years I took steps in my spiritual journey through the influence of my family, my church, and through church camp. I grew through a long slow pathway toward the maturing Christian I was to become. These were small steps, but important steps. They got me started on my journey and taught me a lot on the way, especially through Sunday School classes and the church camp I attended each summer. I memorized some scripture during these years, especially The Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13 KJV), the 23rd Psalm (KJV), and John 3:16 (KJV) which says "For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

I loved school and learned easily and quickly. It was so much more fun to go to public school than to stay home and help with the work there! We rode a school bus each morning and afternoon two miles to school and two miles back. On occasions the bus would break down, so we would walk, but not often.

We had cold winters in northern Indiana with lots of snow and not very efficient snow removal equipment, so we usually missed several days of school for snow. Our school year ran from September through April, much shorter than the current school years, however I don’t remember any spring break. We were off four months for summer and had to do a lot of garden work: planting, hoeing, weeding, harvesting, cleaning, canning, freezing, etc. Most of my friends lived on farms and evidently were also needed at home for work.

My favorite season of the year was Christmas. I loved every aspect of it, but especially the secrets, mystery, and anticipation. I loved to decorate the house, buy gifts, wrap them, and all the other exciting preparations. I loved the visits to our grandparents’ homes and the Christmas programs at school and church. In those days we could celebrate Christmas at school by singing about and dramatizing Jesus’ birth. We always prepared a program at school for the community to come and see, then we received a visit from Santa in front of the whole assembly of parents and children, and received a treat of big juicy sunkist oranges and hard candy. Since we had little of the extras at our home (I’m sure my parents couldn’t afford it as I think back) this was a wonderful treat.

At church we also presented a program telling the Biblical story of Jesus’ birth with shepherds, wise men, and all. We sang Christmas songs so I learned many of the Christmas carols by heart while still young. At one of those Christmas programs I was given the scripture to recite from Luke 2:19 (KJV): "But Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her heart."

That scripture became part of who I was during the rest of my life. I became like Mary: one who kept all these things and pondered them in her heart. I know God was leading me to that verse, even as a child, because it fit my life and helped shape me as I pondered over the years the things that happened to me from a perspective of what God might be doing.

There were two highlights during the summers in my childhood years which stood out for me. One was getting to visit my favorite aunt and uncle for a few days each summer. They would take me to an amusement park where I learned the joy of riding the merry-go-round, and they would take me swimming in a public pool and try to teach me to swim. But the greatest treat was getting to play their piano! I was fascinated by the piano and had an intense desire to learn to play it. So I would play it and play it when I was there.

The other highlight I remember vividly was church camp each summer. I got to go to this Christian summer camp for a whole week and I loved it! I made many friends there after getting over my initial homesickness. I went back year after year and got to see some of these same friends again and again. The things I learned at camp from the Bible, from the songs we sang, from the influence of watching Godly leaders, and from the Christian atmosphere had a lifelong and profound effect on me. I always soaked in the teaching and came home with an intense desire to live a better life for the Lord and to be closer to Him.

It was at this camp, at Lake James in northern Indiana, that I experienced what I now realize was the call from God to me for Christian service. I realize now it was the Holy Spirit working in me which brought such a deep tug on my soul that one special day at camp, as we sat on the hillside singing the invitation hymn "Just As I Am." I wanted to go forward and make a commitment to the Lord, but I kept saying to myself, "But I have already done that." So I sat there, not really understanding what was happening to me at the time. I do know that after that event I talked about going into missionary work some time.

In later life I asked the Lord what really took place at that event which I still remembered many many years later. He revealed to me that He called me into ministry that day, and His call had been on my life ever since then. Recognizing that call on my life has helped me understand some of my intense interest in spiritual things the rest of my life, and why full time Christian ministry was my consuming desire for many years before I was able to follow the call fully.

When I look back at my childhood years, I wonder what we did to fill all our evenings as children without the entertainment children have now. I remember we played games a lot with each other - like kick the can, softball, etc. We Indian wrestled on the living room floor. We played cards. We played Monopoly. And I guess we went to bed early because I know we got up early. Once in awhile we could even talk Mom into playing cards with us, especially when the electricity was out and we played by candlelight and kerosene lamp. With electric and telephone wires above ground and not in cables, we often lost those services when the weather coated the wires with ice. In the winter, in times of play during the day, we made snow forts, had snowball fights, and played "fox and geese" on our snowy game diamond. We made slides down the high stacks of snow that were left along the roadsides after the snowplow piled it up there. I remember one time my younger sister’s red mittens turning our snow slide pink.

All through my school years I liked music, art, writing poetry, and reading books. I was in 4-H club all summer for many years and worked each summer on my projects for the county fair. I mainly took baking and sewing as projects. Mom did a lot of sewing to make clothes for us to wear, and I did, too, as I grew older. I wrote poetry and sometimes illustrated it. My teachers encouraged this in me.

As I got closer to high school age I wanted to play in band as my oldest brother did. I looked up to him and admired him, so I wanted to do what he did. I told him one day that I wanted to play a brass instrument which played treble clef, but I didn’t want to play trumpet. This was because I could already read treble clef and didn’t want to learn bass clef (!), and also because I loved the sound of brass instruments. Soon after that he came home from school with a French horn which the band director let him bring home for me to use, and he taught me how to play it. From then on I was a French horn player. I played for eight years (four in high school and four in college) plus a little more after college. I love that instrument! I don’t know how I could have picked a better one if I had known what I was doing. I see God’s hand in leading me to the very musical instrument He knew I would love.

When I think of some of the highlights of my high school days, I remember band events at the football games, basketball games, concerts, and band competitions. I participated in the solo and ensemble instrumental contests each year. As I took piano lessons, I had to perform in recitals. I loved to play piano for myself. I also liked to sing in our high school choir. We had a choir director who demanded a lot of us, but gave us a good choral experience. I organized and sang in a trio for which I arranged the harmony in the songs we sang at banquets, etc.

As teenagers in the evenings we used our little single play 78 rpm record player to play Glenn Miller records and dance to them. We practiced together in the evenings. I made many friends in high school and went to almost every dance they had. We had two big dances each year--one about Christmas time, and the prom in the spring. We also had dances after football and basketball games and I attended most of those as I recall. My dancing instruction at home in the living room to the Glenn Miller records paid off!

Before I turned 16 my summers were mostly spent helping at home with the garden, food preparation, house cleaning, laundry, ironing, sewing, etc. Our garden was huge and took many many hours of work from all in the family to plant, cultivate, pull weeds, and harvest the crops. When we would pick peas or beans we would heap them on the dining room table into a mountain covering the whole table top, and we would sit for hours preparing them. Then we would can them, or later, during my teen years, we would freeze them.

Since my dad was an electrical engineer in refrigeration service work, he made our freezers. We harvested corn, peas, beans, tomatoes, peppers, carrots, beets, turnips, cabbage, lettuce, potatoes, pumpkins, cucumbers, spinach, strawberries, black raspberries, red raspberries, blackberries, plums, cherries, asparagus, grapes, gooseberries, and apples. We also bought bushels of ripe peaches from Michigan when they were available and prepared them.

When each crop was ready we usually spent the whole day working on it--for as many days as needed to finish the job. Since I grew up with fresh, canned, and frozen foods available I had a difficult time adjusting as an adult to buying those foods from a store. The prices seemed to be exorbitant compared to the "free" foods we had at home. Of course, now I realize they were not "free," but came with many labor hours of work, and with God’s provision of the seeds, the earth, the sunshine, the rain, etc.

A big event of my teenage years was when I turned sixteen and could get a driver’s license. I took driver’s training as a class at school and was able to take the driving test in the driver training car at school--which was nice! I remember entering and winning an essay contest in high school about driving safety. Even then I liked to write, and I still do. God was training me then for what He had planned for me later. He was leading me through giving me an interest in writing.

The summer I was sixteen, in 1952, I had the opportunity for my first job outside the home. I "child-sat" an elementary age boy whose parents both worked full time jobs. I spent all day, 5 days a week, from 8:00-5:00, with him including taking him to the park for crafts and recreation, taking him to music lessons, etc. For this I was paid $10.00 per week, which was big money to me at that time!

The next summer I worked as a "car-hop" at a root beer stand taking orders from the drive-in customers, and carrying their food to the car after it was prepared. For this work I was paid $.50 per hour plus tips.

The summer of 1954, just after I graduated from high school, I got a job at North American Van Lines in their world headquarters in Fort Wayne, Indiana, doing typing work in the billing department. I worked there for three summers. This job paid very well for that time and helped pay my way through college. I also continued to work in the evenings at the root beer stand as a car-hop.

For several summers during my high school and college years I played in the orchestra for the summer light opera productions given at the Franke Park Outdoor Theater in Fort Wayne. I loved doing that! Some of the musicals we performed, for anywhere from 7-14 days in a row, were: "South Pacific," "Oklahoma," and "Brigadoon."

My senior year was the best high school year of all! That year I got to participate in a lot of "important" things (to me) like student council, class officers (I was vice president), band, choir, Sunshine Girls (a service club), GAA (girls’ athletic association), intramural sports, and National Honor Society. If you would look in my yearbook you would see us dressed in the typical 50’s outfits as we graduated in 1954. Life was just beginning to open up for me as I made my plans for college.

A big decision during my senior year of high school was choosing which college to attend. I knew I wanted to study music which was my primary love at that time. I was taking piano lessons, singing in choir, and playing in band, so music took much of my time and interest. I was ready to leave home and go to college, but not too far. I didn’t know how college would be paid for, but I had confidence the money would come somehow. And God provided the money!

How did the money come for college? Well, I worked each summer and saved that money for college. I also worked at college--two years as a waitress in the college dining hall, and several years as a lab assistant to one of the music professors. I was awarded scholarships from the college and from the E. H. Kilbourne scholarship fund. My mom and dad gave me money as they were able. Somehow God worked it all out so that I ended up four years of college with no debt! Isn’t that amazing!

Manchester College where I attended was a Christian college, and there were opportunities for growth through Bible study, prayer, fellowship, speakers in Chapel services, and Sunday church services, as well as the college courses themselves. Much of my fellowship came through music activities since I was a music major and participated in choir, band, and orchestra as well as music classes. Music became a lot of the expression of my Christian life...especially in the A Cappella Choir when we went on tour to churches during spring break. My heart was expressed through the music. I graduated from Manchester in 1958 with a major in music education and a minor in English. The English minor fit right in with the desire to read and write which had been developing in me since childhood. God’s hand was in this choice of college and in the subjects I studied.

After college I taught music for one year before marrying in July 1959. We moved to Cambridge, Massachusetts, where my husband attended graduate school and I taught in the public school system of Melrose, Massachusetts. The expression and growth of my "Spiritual Journey" there came mainly through our attending the Congregational Church in Worchester, Massachusetts, where he assisted the pastor with the worship services, I sang in the choir, and we had wonderful fellowship on Sunday afternoons and evenings with the people of that church. Also I expressed myself through music as I sang in the Boston Chorus Pro Musica, a choir under the direction of Alfred Nash Patterson, which joined the Boston Symphony Orchestra for concerts of great music based on scripture: Bach’s Mass in B Minor, Mahler’s Second Symphony, Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, and Handel’s Messiah.

Then in 1960 I started into what I would call a dry period in my spiritual life where I spent little time in three areas of Christian growth: Bible study, prayer, and fellowship with believers in a church. We moved to Tokyo, Japan, the summer of 1960 where my husband worked for his church as their representative in the Far East and I taught school at the American School in Japan. I call it a dry period because I wasn’t attending church, wasn’t doing any Bible study, wasn’t often in prayer and wasn’t having Christian fellowship. I drew farther and farther away from those things which now help me grow in my Christian walk.

Even though I was not seeking God during this time of my life, He was still with me. He lead me, without my even seeking Him, to the help I needed when our marriage began having trouble. It all came about in such an unusual way that I could look back and see God’s hand upon my life even then. I returned from Japan to the U. S. in January 1963 and began my graduate degree while living with my parents in the New Haven, Indiana, area because my husband and I had temporarily separated. I eventually completed my Master’s Degree in Education from St. Francis College (now University) in Fort Wayne.

This "dry period" of little growth spiritually lasted for several more years as my husband and I got back together and we spent two years in North Manchester, Indiana, while he finished his pre-med work and I taught school. Then we moved to Indianapolis, Indiana, in 1965 and my husband started four years of medical school at the Indiana University Medical School while I finished my Master’s Degree in Education and spent several years teaching school. In 1969 we adopted our oldest daughter and moved to Ft. Wayne, Indiana, for his internship program. I still was without Bible study, prayer, or church fellowship. I see that now as a time of not growing in my spiritual journey, but being more on a plateau. I feel God was waiting for me to return to Him even though He never left me.

Then God began what I view now as a wonderful work inside me to draw me back to Himself. During those years in the late 60’s I began to have such a hunger, such a yearning, such a questioning, coming up inside me to know what life was all about, why I was on this earth, what the truth was about my life, and what was the way to live during my life. I kept wanting to learn the TRUTH! And I began to search... search for answers to the questions coming up inside me in my spirit and in my mind. I began to talk with others about this, to read books about it, to listen to tapes, etc. I began finding I was dissatisfied with life as it had been. I began to question why I existed, what was the meaning and purpose of my life, and whether God really existed.

I believe God created this yearning in me to draw me closer to Himself. I shared this quest with three important people in my life: my mother and my two sisters. They were also looking for answers to life’s questions. I read and discussed books from many philosophies while I was trying to learn what was really truth. Gradually I centered in my seeking on Christianity and read testimonies from others who had given their lives to Jesus as Lord and who were empowered by the Holy Spirit. I learned what a tremendous difference this made in their lives! It was a different witness than I had heard before and it appealed to my inner needs.

My younger sister was like a mentor to me during this time. She shared her beliefs with me and her spiritual journey. She gave me books to read and tapes to hear. I especially listened to teaching tapes by Derek Prince, Bob Mumford and Charles Simpson. They became my mentors also through those tapes.

One day during the spring of 1971, as I was sitting at home reading one of these books, I made a decision that I wanted to seek Jesus’ way for my life. I said out loud to Him something like: "OK, Jesus, I believe You are the way for me to find the truth. I want to know about Your way. Now what do I do about this?" I received a strong inner impression that I was to go to the telephone, call my older sister, and ask her about the Christian camp she and her husband attended the previous summer in 1970. They had mentioned it to us when they helped us move into our new home in Indianapolis that summer when my husband became a member of the staff at Indiana University Medical Center.

So I called and got that information. As a consequence of that I attended the camp that following summer and experienced Christian teaching and fellowship which was different than any I had ever experienced before. The Lord became very real and meaningful to me. I asked Him to be not only my Savior, but also the Lord of my life, and I committed myself totally to Him.

The camp experience gave me a real burst of growth and commitment in my "Spiritual Journey" with Christ. I met others who were also seeking Jesus for a closer walk with Him. I came back from that first camp inspired and warmed by the wonderful teaching, prayer, Bible study, and great fellowship I found there among Christians. Slowly I began to realize the truth - that God was really real, that what Jesus had done for me (in paying the price for my sins on the cross so I could be forgiven of them) was true, and that He really is the WAY, TRUTH, and LIFE (John 14:6).

I began looking for something to keep me growing in Indianapolis during the rest of the year. I committed to God that I would follow only Him and not any other path but His. In essence, I recommitted my life to God in a similar way to what I had done when I was ten years old. I stated that I believed Jesus was the only way and I committed my life to Him again...this time as an adult. And Jesus became my best friend as well as my Lord.

Our second daughter was born in December of 1971 and my two children occupied much of my time while we lived in Indianapolis for several years. Eventually I learned about Bible Study Fellowship in Indianapolis which met exclusively for Bible study, prayer, and fellowship once a week for 9 months during the school year. I attended this and began really digging into the Bible and learning from it...more than I ever had before.

By 1974, when we moved to Columbia, Missouri, for my husband’s new job there at the University of Missouri Medical School, I was ready to find a Bible study group as soon as the "settling in" was accomplished. I prayed and asked for direction to find such a group. The leading came through a birthday party to which my oldest daughter was invited by her school friend. While she was attending the party, her mother and I were talking about my desire to find a study group. She gave me the name of someone in the Neighborhood Bible Study groups in Columbia. After contacting her, I began attending one of those groups where I was nourished weekly through Bible study, prayer, and fellowship. We decided to attend a Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) where our daughters could attend Sunday School and we could attend church at the same time.

By about 1979 when our marriage was again having difficulties (which went on to separation in 1980 and divorce in 1986) I found myself taking the girls to church by myself most of the time. I wasn’t getting the spiritual food I wanted and needed there so I began to look for a different church which might help me grow.

The leading to that new church came through my oldest daughter as she was invited to attend Calvary Baptist Church with our neighbors. She liked it and wanted to continue there. When I visited the church I felt God wanted us there. So we three began attending this church together.

During the time there my oldest daughter talked with the Pastor and asked to be baptized after accepting Christ as her Savior. Later my youngest daughter also was baptized after making her decision to accept Christ as her Savior. I became a member there in 1980 and this became the place, for me, that my explosion of growth took place in being a disciple of Christ.

As I look back at the year 1980, the year I joined Calvary Baptist Church, I realize God knew that separation and divorce were soon to come in my life, and the lives of my children, and He lead me to a church where I could find the support and help I needed to go through the next difficult years ahead. People there cared about me, supported me, and prayed for me when I needed it very much.

It started with the wonderful sermons on Sunday mornings and evenings and the Bible study times on Wednesday evenings. It wasn’t long until I became involved in the choir and this group became my support group, my sharing group, and my way of expressing myself musically (after a long separation from musical expression).

When I went to the Christian camp the summer of 1981 I wrote this idea from the Holy Spirit to me in my Quiet Time:

Then in the fall of 1981 I was asked if I wanted to participate in a discipleship group studying MasterLife: Discipleship Training which was a study to help you grow in your Christian walk and life through Bible study, prayer, evangelism, retreats, memorization of scripture, learning your spiritual gifts, and having close fellowship together. It was held once a week for nine months and was power packed with things to do, learn, and practice. I consider this course a time of great and significant change in my "Spiritual Journey." Many of the discipleship helps I list in Appendix B are ideas from the MasterLife: Discipleship Training course.

At the end of that year’s study I was asked to lead a group through MasterLife the next year - which I did. Leading MasterLife groups and eventually directing the leaders of many MasterLife groups occupied much of seven years at Calvary Baptist Church besides all the choir and musical activities.

Then in 1989 I was asked to pray about becoming the Director of the Discipleship Training program for Calvary Baptist Church. I said I would pray and seek my answer. As I prayed I asked God not only to show me His answer, but to give me ideas about what to do for the Discipleship Training program since I was not specially trained for it. His answer was to give me many many ideas about things He wanted done, how to organize them, etc. So my answer was yes. For the next eleven years He faithfully guided me to finding materials, finding teachers, and setting up and promoting discipleship courses for Calvary. As I studied the new materials each season I learned a lot also and continued to grow spiritually. During that time I wrote a friend who had moved away:

During the spring of 2000 I realized God was guiding me to resign as Director of Discipleship Training at Calvary, so I did that and finished my term of service at the end of June that year. Also during those years I had taken on a full time job as secretary of Fairview United Methodist Church, so I didn’t have as many free hours to volunteer my services at Calvary. Still it was a big change in my service activities, but the spiritual growth kept on since that was now done primarily on my own with personal study, prayer, etc. in daily Quiet Times (see Appendix B on How To Have A Quiet Time) and fellowship with my many friends at Calvary.

Two years later, in the summer of 2002, I became aware that my friend, Doug Phillips, (with whom I had worked for five years at Calvary in Discipleship/Education) was being guided by God to start a new church in Columbia. This was to be a non-denominational church which he called CenterPoint Church--with Jesus, and witnessing about Him, as the center point focus of the church. After talking with Doug and seeking the Lord’s guidance about it, I felt led to join with Doug and the others starting this new church.

This is the place I began to experience more freedom in corporate worship with a body of believers. It became the place of continuing my "Spiritual Journey." along with daily Quiet Times and reading books to learn from mentors. I found myself seeking more and more to learn from some of the great Christians of the past who had written Christian Classics which have helped believers over the years. (I mention many of my book mentors in Appendix C in the back of this book.) My desire was to keep growing in intimate communion with Him all the days of my life and I could learn a lot from reading of others’ experiences.

In the fall of 2003 my daughter, Beth, and I attended a Christian conference at Christ Triumphant Church in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. This became a turning point in my life - although I didn’t realize it at that time. Through the influence of that church, and that conference, and with God’s leading, both Beth and I felt called to attend that church and move to Lee’s Summit. God’s hand was very evident in all the steps we each went through to make that change. It reminds me of the song we used to sing in choir: "God will make a way where there seems to be no way." He made a way for Beth to buy a home in Lee’s Summit and for me to join her there later.

And Lee’s Summit is the place where He has me writing this book to tell you about my life and how He has lead me all these years. Like Mary in the scripture, I have "kept all these things and pondered them in my heart." I see the hand of God all the way through my life bringing me to today, right now, to the task of writing this book which He has commissioned me to do. I want this book to be a testimony to His leading, His guiding, and His protecting all through my life. There are many scriptures and stories I want to share with you in each of these areas, so here we go..........

SCRIPTURES AND STORIES ON GOD’S LEADING

One day while I was at the summer Christian camp having a Quiet Time before the Lord this event happened to me. I realize now that this is a perfect description of how God has led me throughout my life, yet He gave me this vision before I could see the pattern unfolding....

The first and most important thing you will ever do in your life is to accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. If you have not done that yet, I encourage you strongly to be sure you do. Jesus is the only way to the Father (God) and only through Him can you be assured of salvation and going to heaven when you die. Listed in Appendix B you will find an article called "How To Give Your Life to Christ" which will guide you through that process. If you don’t accept Him as the One who carried your sins to the cross and died in your place for those sins, then you continue to carry those sins on yourself. The scripture says in Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

I made that decision and commitment as a child of 10, and again as an adult after coming back to the Lord after my "dry period" plateau. When you give your life to Jesus, then you begin on your "Spiritual Journey." In Appendix B you may read more on the steps in this journey.

In 1 Corinthians 2:12-13 it says "We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom, but in words taught by the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words." I am trusting that it is by the Spirit who is from God that this book is written that we may understand what God has freely given us. I pray this book is expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words, and that these words will enter your heart and grow there to help you on your "Spiritual Journey."

God assures us in His Word that he will be with us and lead us on this journey. He says: "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." (Psalm 32:8). He also says: "Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track." (Proverbs 3:5-6 TMB)

Now I want to share a story about God’s leading in my life when I was diagnosed with cancer in 1990. This story shows how He walked with me through this traumatic event.

Here is a story about my Aunt Fern which I heard from my Mom as I was growing up. This is such a wonderful illustration of God’s caring love in times of grief and change!

One day while attending a committee meeting at Calvary Baptist Church one of the members of the committee, Harold, excitedly told us about something which happened to him the previous week. I asked Harold to put the story on tape for me so I could add it to my stories I was collecting about ways God works in our lives. This is Harold’s story:

God leads us in many ways. Often we don’t even realize His leading until we look back later and see from that perspective. One of the greatest ways He leads me is through Bible Study and Prayer in my Quiet Time. I will be giving many illustrations of this throughout this book. Much of what I write has come through those special private times with the Lord in the mornings. The time for this varied during different seasons of my life.

For instance when my children were little, my Quiet Time needed to be when they napped or when they were at school. As I worked a full time job later, it needed to be early in the morning before work and meant getting up very early. Each of you may find the best time to set apart to be with the Lord varies according to your own times and seasons of life. Here are some of the ways the Lord has led me...

THE WORD

The Lord has led me at times while reading His Word. One day in my Quiet Time I read and wrote down this scripture from Exodus 23:20-21 – "See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared. Pay attention to him and listen to what he says." This was before I moved to Lee’s Summit, Missouri, and I was packing and preparing to do that. Then the Holy Spirit impressed these thoughts into my mind and I wrote them down also:

Another day in my Quiet Time I was reading and pondering the scripture from Matthew 6:12,14-15 which says: "Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven our debtors...For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

As I meditated on these verses from Matthew, these thoughts from the Lord began to form in my mind and I wrote them down:

He who testifies to these things says, ‘Yes, I am coming soon.’
(Revelation 22:20)

Here is a prayer which you might want to pray regarding this: Lord, I know your Word is true. You tell me you will forgive my sins as I forgive those who sin against me. As I wait before You in this quiet time together, guide me to remember those whom I need to forgive. Help me to truly forgive them. I pray in the name of Jesus, my Savior. Amen.

PRAYER

Another day in my Quiet Time I read this scripture from Jeremiah 33:3 – "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." After reading that I began to write to God (a prayer) about how I had been feeling recently, and then I wrote His response...

This is something He taught me as I prayed one day. It is about the attitude with which I come in prayer.

PICTURES OR VISIONS

Sometimes I have received leading from the Lord through "pictures" which appear before my inward eyes, my spiritual eyes. Sometimes this is called a vision. It is not a dream, because it happens when I’m awake. One such vision came to me while I was in worship at the summer Christian camp:

This vision has stayed with me and helped lead me through the rest of my life. Another vision was just a quick glimpse rather than one taking time and being repeated:

RELINQUISHMENT

Another way God lead me was through relinquishing what I wanted very badly and letting God decide the situation the way He knew best. A difficult experience took place when I became pregnant in the fall of 1970. Previously I had not been able to have children and we were blessed to be able to adopt our first daughter in 1969. But in the fall of l970 I became pregnant. We were excited about this and, as soon as it was verified, we began telling our family members at our annual Thanksgiving gathering.

But the day after Thanksgiving I was taken to the hospital when I started a possible miscarriage. I was told to go home after days of observation in the hospital, and told to stay off my feet for the rest of the pregnancy period. God was really with me during that time and I felt the prayer rising up within me that if this baby was not right in some way, or there was some reason it was better for this baby not to be born, then it was ok if God took that baby to be with Him. And that is what happened. The miscarriage was completed after a day or two at home.

I expect to meet that child someday in heaven along with my sister, Virginia, who died (at about 1 year old) before I was born.

CHANGE OF INTEREST

Another way He lead me in the past came because I lost interest in something which had previously been very interesting to me. I had gone through a year of being in Bible Study Fellowship in Indianapolis and just loved it. I looked forward to the new school year program beginning that coming fall. But when fall came, my interest just wasn’t as keen as it had previously been, and I was disappointed and wondered why. Then I began to understand, through a suggestion from my sister, that sometimes God might decrease our interest in something because He has a change coming in our lives and is preparing us for it.

And that proved to be so true! I didn’t know it at the time (but God did) that I would be moving away soon after that to another state. He lovingly took away my interest in what might have held me back from a good attitude toward the move.

DREAMS

One more thing I want to mention about ways God leads us is through dreams. I became quite interested in understanding my dreams when I found I had some dreams which remained in my mind for a long time and seemed like they might be significant. I began to study about dreams and read books about how to better understand them. I began to keep pen and paper beside my bed and write down a dream that I felt might be significant as soon as I awoke from it. If I didn’t, I might forget the content or details of the dream. I’ll relate one dream here as an illustration:

This was my interpretation: Jesus is the conductor. The singer is the Holy Spirit. When I asked God for an interpretation the question came to mind: What does the horn represent? I said it might represent prophecy (a sounding horn) or the last trumpet (the rapture). If the horn represents prophecy, I felt that I was not to do that now - not play the horn. I am to be in Praise and Worship now.

This dream represents the uncertainty of the times--not knowing my role in them. The numbers before me represent seeing events passing in a prophetic timetable. #1 means beginning; #9 means harvest. So this displays the beginning through the harvest which we who are living now can see.

People behind me represent the people who have gone before me who are part of the same orchestra, who are watching from heaven so I can’t see them right now, but I sense their existence and participation. We were all following Jesus’ conducting.

This is a picture to tell me "what time it is" prophetically (i.e. #’s of events) I am "out in front" which means I am alive now. The others behind me lived previously. I only get quick glimpses of Jesus, but He is still conducting it all.

The singer we are to accompany is the Holy Spirit and He has begun His song. The open area/field ahead means I see nothing about what is next, I am only to accompany the singer (Holy Spirit). He sings. All of us in the orchestra go with Him--accompany Him. He leads! The performance means His kingdom coming, His will being done, on earth as it is in heaven. It’s the harvest of Jesus’ kingdom working in His people.

The open field in front refers to the fields are white unto harvest. Pray to the Lord to send workers into those fields. The conductor goes through the whole song with the orchestra and leads them to the very end. The Holy Spirit’s song: He has begun His "final" song for the Church, the last days’ Church.

I didn’t want to sit there, very visible, and not participate. I felt like I wasn’t participating; but today the Lord is telling me that I AM participating in these ways:

As a part of His orchestra (past and present). Just being in it, letting Him conduct, letting Him sing. Being aware of His work/timing (seeing #’s on page), getting brief glimpses of Him conducting, hearing His song, seeing the open field, wanting to do what He has me here to do, and praying for the harvest.

Here is another dream which taught me a lot about the church, the Body of Christ:

When I awoke the dream was so vivid I remembered it clearly. I asked the Lord what it represented. It was revealed to me that this house represented the church, the Body of Christ. The "lights" are on the house and they are formed into a beautiful pattern which would look glorious if it could be seen. However, the electricity, the power, is at such low voltage the lights do not shine out. We need more "electricity," more power through the Holy Spirit, to empower those light bulbs. I knew I was to pray for the power to come so they can be seen for what they really are: a beautiful design by the Lord to glorify Him.

Then the Lord revealed that as He lights up those bulbs, I will find some that are not lightable. They are dark, black. They either have no ability to shine (not having the Holy Spirit in them) or they are darkened, dead, refusing to let the Holy Spirit empower them and shine through them. The design is by the Lord, but it will be sad to see some of the black places in it when the rest are lit.

The one bulb that already shines has light in it, but is clouded, is self-contained, and does not illuminate others around it. The reason the lights are on the outside of the house, not on the inside, is because this represents what the outside world sees of the church - a little flicker of light occasionally, not a strong, clear, steady light. But, the Lord says that will change as the "power" is introduced - soon!

You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth. (Acts 1:8)

REVELATION

Another way God has led in my life is by what I call revelation. He just reveals something to me by popping it into my mind - usually at a time I am surprised by the information. It might be an answer to a question I asked Him in the past. It might be the solution to a problem with which I need help. The solution will just "appear" in my mind and I just stop what I am doing and say, "Oooohhhh!" It may be what a pastor of mine used to call an "ahah!" experience. This is another way He leads me in life. It fits the scripture which says: "You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." (Psalm 16:11)

LESSONS

Do you want to know what the Lord is like? I do! And as I go through life, I have found that He gives me "lessons" through which He teaches me about Himself, His purposes, and His ways. One day He taught me a lesson which I have remembered ever since. It all started with the rain which came...and came...and came.

Another day He gave me a lesson while sitting in Shelter Garden in Columbia, Missouri, near the waterfall and pool. I needed an answer about a very pressing question that was on my mind at that time. As I watched the water in the pool moving along I noticed a leaf that had fallen into the water. It was being carried along by the water wherever the water took it. The Holy Spirit began to show me that my life was to be like that leaf and He was the water carrying me along where He wanted. I was not to tell the water where to carry me - just relax and rest in the water’s ability to carry me to the right place for me.

I trust as I write these thoughts and stories telling about things God has done in my life, they will bless those of you, my family and friends, who also will read this book. These things might help you deal with events in your own life as they helped me.

Here’s what He wants me to do in my life, as He told me in my Quiet Time:

Perhaps that is what He would like for you also. God leads us in many many ways if we will trust Him. I know He knows what is best, and He will do what is best for me if I ask and allow Him to.

Next I want to share with you thoughts and stories about some specific daily guidance from the Lord in my life.